King of Scholar Hill

I have been subconsciously engaged in a 'Scholastic King of the Hill' this whole time. You see, most people try desperately to get to the far right end of the bell curve. Generally, further to the right is always better. But maybe there's a flaw in the way the bell curve presents information. I was taught that you win by staying at the top of the hill, not by falling/being thrown down the other side. I realize the importance of conforming to their system, but somewhere, during a scout camp long ago, it was burned into my soul that only the crest of the hill matters. Or maybe it was ingrained in my heart long before that. Maybe Gaga's right and I was just born this way. I don't know. I remember that ultimate feeling of power though. Standing at the top, the desperation in the smaller kids' eyes and the dirt in their teeth. Being at the top made you the Alpha Male or Beach Master. You could call yourself whichever you preferred because you were king.

 

So, I probably fixated on that whole experience too much. It's unfortunate that when I finally started to win I became "too old" to play anymore. But I guess I found a new hill to fight on, the bell curve. Now, I don't mean to get all technical, but I should clarify that it is the mode that I always strive for, not the mean. The mode is the most common score and therefore the top most point on the hill. (I am surprised you didn't know that.) Being the mean, or average, just doesn't satisfy. The mode (or the way as it is known around my apartment) is completely different. The mode contains all the thrill and glory associated with being King of the hill.

One time, some jerk in the 98th percentile tried to explain to me that he was more intelligent than me, but I knew who was really on top. ...I then threw him down a real hill, to drive my point home. Who's laughing now?

You win, if you think you win.

TOXIC MEGACOLON!!! (IN ALL CAPS!!!)

Hello. I realize that it has been a while, but I have something special for you today. It's called the Toxic Megacolon! I learned about it in class today. It usually happens from a bacterial infection that facilitates colon dilation. The colon can expand to huge proportions. The best part by far though is the name, Toxic Megacolon.

That's what Toxic Megacolon means in medicine, but I believe that it could really, really shine in film; specifically in the Horror Genre.



I'll admit that it has already been done with worms in both Tremors and Dune, but Toxic Megacolon can add an Alien spin on things too. Some over-zealous scientist introduces a new 'miracle' drug that actual makes human colons become self aware and carnivorous. They erupt from people's stomachs, devour their hosts and then become hungry for more. And they are colons, so they are always hungry. They grow to enormous proportions and become capable of flight (insatiable, carnivorous, mutant, flying Toxic Megacolons). The army comes in to 'nuke the crap out of them' (pun intended), but in the explosion they morph into one giant megacolon (that looks a lot like the one on the asteroid in Star Wars). The megacolon hits an urban area (mass destruction). Finally, some scientist, who knew all along, will come in with an awesome solution (I don't know what it is yet, but it will probably be pretty predictable).

The best part: Little kids could dress up as scary Toxic Megacolons for Halloween.

Phase II Block 1 Finals: Molecules, Cells & Cancer

Hello. It's finals week again. That means I'm enjoying one of these right now, at 7:08 in the AM.

A Life Aquatic

2001: A Space Odyssey gets a new soundtrack

 

I love Michelle for lots of reasons. One is that she wanted to watch Jurassic Park for our five year anniversary. She likes Independence Day and Groundhog's Day and the other night she let us watch an installment of 2001: A Space Odyssey. We watched it on our computer on Netflix. The movie opens with a group of monkeys surviving in an area that looks a lot like rural Utah. For the first fifteen to twenty minutes there is no dialogue, just classical/choral music. Watching it this time, however, I noticed something different about the music. It was orchestral and choral, but I recognized it from somewhere else too. Enchanted. Michelle and I commented on it at the same time. We wondered if Patrick Demsey and his crew had ripped off their soundtrack. As we kept watching, I wondered how I had never noticed the 2001 soundtrack being so vivacious. As the monkey clan approached the monolith an acoustic guitar suddenly kicked in. I knew that that hadn't been there before. I checked the computer and realized that iTunes had been playing the Enchanted overture (12 minutes long) during the movie. We had a good laugh.

I think I actually preferred the opening with the Enchanted soundtrack. I guess that probably borders on blasphemy, but a lot of people said that 2001: A Space Odyssey was blasphemous too.

TRON!

It has been a while. Michelle and I went and saw TRON: Legacy in IMAX 3D the night after my final exam in December. It was an awesome way to end the semester. I loved everything about the film with just a few exceptions. The music and visual effects were out of this world. The final aerial battle just about made me pee my pants. Visually, the whole thing takes place on a 'black canvas' which seemed to me like pretty original cinematography. Caravaggio would have been proud; it was chiaroscuro through a whole new medium. Could Daft Punk have done any better with the soundtrack? No. No, they could not. Resolutely no. You should definitely check out Recognizer, Outlands, and Derezzed.

Only complaint: Tron is PG and therefore made for kids. So, some of the lines and even some of the characters are made to make little kiddies giggle. That can be hard for an adult anticipating an action movie to accept.

I have read several critic reviews and, as much as I agree that Tron was no Lord of the Rings, I think they didn't really get it. One, they keep calling all the characters within the grid Robots. I realize that this is like arguing about Data being an Android, Robot, or Cyborg (he's an Android), but they are not Robots. They are Programs. They have limitations. That is why Quorra is unique. She can learn and evolve whereas the others cannot. Two, Tron came before the Matrix and Tron is PG, not R. The only real comparison between the two is that the 'cyberworld' of the Matrix was derived from Tron, not the other way around. And, as mentioned before, Tron was made by Disney for kids.

It really was an awesome experience in IMAX and all this talking has made me want to go see it again. See it on the big screen while you still can.